Letting go of Perfection. To be Human is Beautiful.

1 Feb

At first, let’s define “perfection” into sentences. Based on Wikipedia: Perfection is, broadly, a state of completeness and flawlessness. Then, based on Urban Dictionary: Perfection is an impossiblity, something unattainable, something that cannot be reached..ever

The quest for perfection is exhausting and unrelenting, but as hard as we try, we can’t turn off the tapes that fill our heads with messages like “Never good enough” and “What will people think?

Why, when we know that there’s no such thing as perfect, do most of us spend an incredible amount of time and energy trying to be everything to everyone? Is it that we really admire perfection? No — the truth is that we are actually drawn to people who are real and down-to-earth. We love authenticity and we know that life is messy and imperfect.

We get sucked into perfection for one very simple reason: We believe perfection will protect us. Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.

We all need to feel worthy of love and belonging, and our worthiness is on the line when we feel like we are never ___ enough (you can fill in the blank: thin, beautiful, smart, extraordinary, talented, popular, promoted, admired, accomplished). Here, I’ll give examples for you to imagine.

Modeling! You think modeling is about perfection? Sure, there are standards. But anyone can play the role of a mannequin. Even in modeling, there is heavy emphasis on penetrating the lens, to ‘be Human’ so to say, to slip your personality throughout.

Music! What? You think music, that divine grace that is the perfect union of art and math, is to be ‘perfect’? When you learn an instrument, there is much emphasis on tone, scales, notes, and rhythms. You could practice for DECADES and be PERFECT at playing songs yet be totally BORING. What makes the truly sensational players are the ones who put fun into the instrument, and fun ends up coming out of the instrument. If you take a player who is going at it with a sense of play, of thrill, of joy itself, a missed tone or a note off beat is not even heard.

A statement from Miley Cyrus that says, “I mess up – there you go! But if you live your life trying to be perfect, you don’t really live your life ever, because you don’t really make any mistakes and at the end of your life you won’t be very smart or wise.

One thing I didn’t realize: if you strive towards perfection, people are going to expect you to be ‘perfect. We must fall in order to rise. Person who strives to be perfect in all his manners with everyone is going to be surpassed by the guy who lets his eccentricities rise in his dealings.

Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be our best. Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth; it’s a shield. Perfectionism is a 20-ton shield that we lug around thinking it will protect us when, in fact, it’s the thing that’s really preventing us from being seen and taking flight.

Alas, one more thing. I have no intention on blaming anyone who goes after perfection, it’s alright. However, it’s your life. You are the one who choose what you want to be or what kind of life you will live. But, once again, if your goal is perfection, will the game ever end?

Last but not least, here what Stephen Manes tries to explain about a ‘perfection’ in his book entitled Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!

Congratulations!  You’re not perfect!  It’s ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway.  But then, everybody’s ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people.  You know what perfect is?  Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake.  Perfect is never doing anything wrong – which means never doing anything at all.

Perfect is boring!  So you’re not perfect!  Wonderful!  Have fun!  Eat things that give you bad breath!  Trip over your own shoelaces!  Laugh!  Let somebody else laugh at you!  Perfect people never do any of those things.  All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are.

But they’re really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway.  You should see them when they get the hiccups!  Phooey!  Who needs ’em?  You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person.

Good people are hard to find nowadays.  And they’re a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week.

One Response to “Letting go of Perfection. To be Human is Beautiful.”

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