Lately I’ve come to realize how much pain and suffering people keep to themselves. Close friends that I thought I knew through and through have revealed things to me that have stunned me, things that they’ve carried with them for long periods of time and haven’t revealed because they were afraid of judgement. It’s things like that that make me realize how alone we actually are and how alone we all feel at times. I trust all the people in my life and each and one of them are people I consider loyal friends that I’ve grown to love and respect. It’s been long since I’ve had anyone in my life that I didn’t genuinely want to be there.
Yet, there is a whole list of things that I keep to myself. Fears, doubts, issues, insecurities. All the negatives that we never want anyone to see because we’re afraid it would chip at the perception they have of us. After some bonding with a couple of my best girl friends and them opening up to me about heavy things I’ve realized I’m not the only one who likes to keep to herself. I would never have imagined them to have the issues they have, just as they probably can’t ever guess which insecurities I deal with on a daily basis because as much as we want, people can’t guess what we don’t tell them.
Personally, I rarely ever share my inner most thoughts with anyone, and to be frank I don’t have a reason not to. I’m not afraid that people in my life would love me less or abandon me for thinking as I thing, in fact they could probably help me deal with the things that bother me, but I’m not ready to share nor do I feel any pressuring need to do so. I have learnt to take care of myself and to deal with my issues as I go.
It’s however important to remember that no one is as together as they may seem, and no one has it all figured out – truly. Even the one friend that seems to be in control of every aspect of his or her life has a skeleton in their closet.